Home Again… thinking about ‘friends’

Made it home from hospital; feeling better now i.e. not shaky and sick, though very tired and a little achy. So, took it easy today, made lists of things that need done and will hit it hard next week.  So much to do, so little energy, no money to do necessary things. Really need help, but that’s not happening. Lots of thoughts going through my mind… mainly, realizing who is here and who is not whenever I’ve been in need… whether it’s emotional, physical, or financial. Not just this time, but every time, then those who disappeared, reappear when the crisis is over, usually needing assistance themselves.

Do you have “friends” like that? Only around when you’re flush with money, but nowhere near when the money’s gone? When you give them ways they can provide for themselves, they’re not interested and suddenly you’re not a friend. I’m a firm believer (now that it’s too late) that financial help be not given to people who do not help themselves or those who live off others as a way of life. I used to get suckered in, till my own finances were in jeopardy. Now that I don’t help every other person financially, my list of ‘friends’ has been cut a great deal. When you learn to say “no”, you end up with quality friends, not quantity.  

How to recognize these people before they wreck your life or make you go off-track? … it’s only afterwards, that realization of what a mistake it was in allowing someone to get close enough to use me, that I feel like shutting the world out, never trusting… then thoughts of my true friends, the ones who have been there a lifetime, bring me around to rational thought.

The handful of friends with whom I lose touch, then reconnect sometimes several years later, are ever-lasting friends. It’s like we never miss a beat when we pick up where we left off. Life gets busy and especially women, we get wrapped up in marriage and child-rearing, community service, jobs and just life in general, but those friends are friends for life no matter what. I love my ‘ever-lasting’ friends, they are like family, only better… they are ‘family by choice’.
You’ve heard the phrase “friends help you move, good friends help you move bodies”, that’s my feeling toward friends.

I reconnected with a friend this year with whom I’ve only had contact a few times since her marriage in 2008. We’d been friends since school and though our lives went in two very different directions, we always connected at least once a year to catch up. She passed away a few weeks later in a motorcycle accident. It made me realize how much we take for granted that we’ll live to old age. The last time you speak to someone could be the last time… make sure the people who are important to you know it.

A few old friends, and even blood family, have reconnected with me via Facebook. This is the greatest thing (to me) about social media, that we can connect and reconnect with friends much more easily. Definitely more easy than calling their parents to get their new address to write a letter and wait for a response; though I do still enjoy letter-writing. I’ll surprise some special friends with notecards this coming month! 🙂

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