Meeting people for the first time…

Meeting people for the first time, I catch myself probing their mind to find out what their passions are, how they view the world, their background and experiences.  Like a lover exploring their partner’s body for the first time, this is how I explore people.

It can be uncomfortable for some people; they feel as if they’re under a microscope.  But this is how I vet people.  If I continue contact it’s because their mind intrigues me.

It’s strange to me that so many people base relationships on looks or social status rather than interests, passions, connection.  When the lights are out and we’re talking in the dark I want my partner to be able to communicate with me.  But when it comes to a partner, my method of vetting people sucks.

Men feel they’ve been “friend-zoned” by the time I completely vet them (which might be a year or more if I don’t have much contact with them) so I lose the men whose minds I’m most attracted to.  Still holding out hope the one who will be perfect for me will hang in there and communicate.

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Sleep Aids

Many people have problems getting to sleep, and/or staying asleep. I’ve had sleep issues since I was 2yo!  Here’s a list of things to try before resorting to pharmacy drugs:

  1. Make your bedroom a haven for sleep:
    • if possible, remove the TV and anything unrelated to sleep from the room;
    • as soon as you get up, make the bed so it’s comfortable and inviting when you go to bed at night;
    • clean your bedroom so it’s not full of dust and clutter, throw away junk and give away items you don’t use to someone who will use them;
    • decorate the room so you are happy, relaxed, and comfortable there;
    • burn lavendar incense, or put lavendar oil on the bulbs of your nightstand lamps;
    • use a lavendar sachet inside your pillowcase or next to your bed.
  2. Make a schedule and stick to it:
    • Pick a time by which you must be asleep to get *8hrs. sleep, then count back an additional 2hrs. This is your ‘preparation for bed’ time.
    • Set out everything you need for the next day:
      • weather-related items like coat, gloves, hat, umbrella, overshoes (keep your auto prepared with an **emergency kit if you live in an area prone to weather emergencies);
      • purse/wallet;
      • keys;
      • work briefcase/school bag;
      • errand items such as clothes/shoes for the gym, coupons for the grocery, retail returns, etc.
      • a ‘to go’ bag kept at the door is a good idea, as you remember things drop them in the bag; easy to grab on your way out every day and leave it there when you come in;
    • if you have problems with waking in the night hungry, plan to have a very light soup or broth, ginger milk, lavendar or camomille tea, or some other light snack about 1/2hr before bed. Nothing with caffeine… even decaf coffee has a little caffeine in it.
    • one of the most common problems is an active mind that won’t turn off, so sit in the quiet and make notes of anything on your mind in a journal,  make a list of things to be done the next day etc. this way you can go to bed with your mind clear.
    • Set the mood for sleep:
      • take a lavendar scented bath, or use lavendar shower gel;
      • turn the lights down 1/2hr before bed;
      • turn electronics off and charge them in another room to prevent their lights from illuminating the bedroom;
      • If you need your phone for an alarm, turn on do not disturb so you can sleep undisturbed by alerts (don’t forget to block the charging light);
      • shut off the TV (if you still have one in your room) and record your favorite show for viewing at another time, sleep is more important;

Hopefully these tips will help you catch some zzzzzzs!

Footnotes:
*On a night you don’t have to be up at a specific time the next day, don’t set your alarm and make sleeping conditions comfortable in your room. When you wake on your own feeling refreshed, that is your ideal sleep hours needed. Some people need 9hrs while someone else may only need 6. You may have to do this several times to average it out but your goal is to wake on your own just before your alarm.

**I will write more on this in another post but even having an umbrella, blanket, hat/gloves, protein bar and water for each family member is at least a start.

Civil Asset Forfeiture (CAF)

Here’s some things I’d like to keep track of so I don’t have to search for them again and again.

Taken – The New Yorker

Under civil forfeiture, Americans who haven’t been charged with wrongdoing can be stripped of their cash, cars, and even homes. Is that all we’re losing?


John Oliver
Funny but accurate explanation of CAF

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