Meeting people for the first time, I catch myself probing their mind to find out what their passions are, how they view the world, their background and experiences. Like a lover exploring their partner’s body for the first time, this is how I explore people.
It can be uncomfortable for some people; they feel as if they’re under a microscope. But this is how I vet people. If I continue contact it’s because their mind intrigues me.
It’s strange to me that so many people base relationships on looks or social status rather than interests, passions, connection. When the lights are out and we’re talking in the dark I want my partner to be able to communicate with me. But when it comes to a partner, my method of vetting people sucks.
Men feel they’ve been “friend-zoned” by the time I completely vet them (which might be a year or more if I don’t have much contact with them) so I lose the men whose minds I’m most attracted to. Still holding out hope the one who will be perfect for me will hang in there and communicate.